I reviewed my site meter log and am very surprised to find how people are getting to my page. Other than just the word “pussy”, here are a few of my top favorites.

1. girls that put sand in their pussy (what made someone even think of this? i would never voluntarily put sand there)
2. truck pussy (dude, i know you love your truck, but come on!)
3. adult fuck little kid pussy (go away now, you freak of nature. i’m not kidding)
4. i like pussy (how many pages did that bring up?)
5. pussy smell (i swear there is not one post about this topic)
6. cold nose hot pussy (umm, yeah)
7. how to sick pussy (my guess is let it shower and not dry it’s hair and sleep with the ceiling fan on)
8. pussy shave designs (how many could there be?)
9. I want pussy now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (look up escorts in the yellow pages)
10. she wants pussy (tell us more)
11. girls outside holding stuff in pussy (why can’t they be inside holding stuff in pussy. how does a fetish like this get started?)
12. Do-It pussy (Do it, Pussy! Do it!)
13. what pussy rings look like in the pussy (a bit wordy for google, don’t ya think?)
14. pitbulls having sex (gross gross gross)
15. PERSONAL PUSSY TONIGHT (again, escort - look it up)
16. hotness of pussy (about 98.5 degrees, I think)
17. 15 year pussy (last time i will tell you to go away)
18. god of sex the last ninja (oh yes, this would be my title on my business cards)
19. lime and soft ass and pussy (i get the last two but why a lime also?)
20. PUSSY KNOW (Pussy know what you did last summer. Oh, pussy know.)

I know I’ve mentioned my boss, Cuntpie, before. I really hate this job. I will tell of her latest unprofessional escapade in a moment, but let me just say how ridiculous it is that she feels like she can call me “Young Lady”. I am 28 and she is 30. Should I remind her that I already have one mother? So, the latest scoop. She calls me alot during the day and sometimes I just don’t want to deal with her. That was the case on Friday, so I made the judgement call to just ignore my cell phone. She freaking called my boyfriend AT WORK to see where I was. What the fuck, dude? So then, he thinks I’ve been injured or something and is about to rush home. Luckily I accept his calls all the time so such a thing was avoided. I don’t even call him at work though is the point and she hasn’t even ever met him. She used my emergency contact info.

On a good note, I found out this weekend that a dear friend of mine is having a baby and I am so excited. I love babies. I wish I was at a stable point in my life with a stable man and was ready to have babies too. That would be cool.

This is the latest thing that cracks me up. I have Time Warner DVR which is like Tivo so I can record shows and watch them later. Every night, I watch Oprah or Dr. Phil from earlier in the day and inevitably, the phone rings or the dogs want to go out so I have to pause it. Well, then I have to walk by the TV for the next two hours or so until I resume watching with Oprah’s face freeze framed like she’s taking a dump or having sex. It’s the small things, people.

Thanks to Mimi Smartypants for providing me with at least one outloud snort and an hour of work time wasting with this link.

Today on my home from work I was visually assaulted. To the couple on the motorcycle at the light on West Parmer Lane: it is not okay to grab and twist and massage your “old lady’s” ass while she rides bitch on your bike. I nearly shot water out of my nose which would have been a severe driving impairment. By the way, wear some clean jeans at least.

I slept last night completely on top of the covers and the boogyman did not get me. All these years, I have been afraid of the top of the covers. Who knew?

It really sucks to have a job that you don’t really like. I happen to have a job that I don’t like at all. I’ve been out sick for the past three days and I am dreading going back to that place tomorrow. Ugh, it seemed so different to be an adult as a little kid. I really thought that by the time I was 28, I would have my shit together. Guess I could by now, but somehow it hasn’t all worked out the way I planned.

Well, I ended up getting sick. That’s why I haven’t posted any of my usual rants. I have fever and the whole bit. Haven’t felt like this since I was in school. I’m on a mission now to find out who infected me. I guess I should stop making out with strangers at the grocery store. On to more important matters. First off, tonight was the much anticipated Sopranos season premier and I could not be happier. All reality shows could be taken off the air permanently as long as I have my Sopranos. Second thing is this guy that I heard on the radio last week. He’s got a book out about how he accidentally started a cult. It’s hilarious and brilliant. Check it out if you have some time. Also, Dooce is having people post some of the most ridiculous things your boss (present or former) has ever said to you on her website today. This is in celebration of her getting canned two years ago for material that was on her own personal blog. How’s that for a lawsuit in the making? I think about that occasionally, but I don’t want to keep a job with people that would even care about that kind of thing.

Okay, so I am a lame ass that actually watched the entire season of Average Joe. I know that I cannot be the only one, so I am going to vent. If you saw the final episode, you’ll understand. If you didn’t and you are going to catch it later, get off my page now cause I’m going to give it away. I cannot believe that I fell for that fake ass shit again. There is no way that some guy would fall “in love” with you and then leave you cause you dated Fabio, especially when he didn’t even tap that ass yet. He would have at least stuck around for that and then bailed. I really feel sorry for the average guys. When they watched this season, I bet they were thinking that she just gave them sorry little pecks on the cheek and then she was tongue wrestling with ALL of the hotties. And remember in the beginning that she said that she had never dated any guys as hot as these dudes? But then Fabio was her ex? I’m confused, did you or didn’t you date hotties before, Larissa? Enough said. Don’t know why I even care. I wanted to start watching Forever Eden tonight but I cannot add another show to this list. You guys will have to let me know how it goes.