I finally upgraded to XP and it is great! Well worth the 94 bucks. So, if you haven’t heard from me, that’s where I’ve been. It took forever to install on my computer. Oh that and I had a carpenter ant infestation in my study. It kind of sucked getting bit everytime I sat down to use my computer.

When beginning a paper on contracts at 11:20 PM the day before it is due, “who the fuck am I kidding?” generally comes to mind.

A girlfriend of mine gave me this cool retro glass canister set today that looks that the canisters from nickel candy stores from way back in the day. So, in addition to girlie kitchen, which is still under way, I am going to load my kitchen up with retro candy by the pound. Order some for yourself here. Remember in school when the worst you could do to someone was challenge them to finish a Jawbreaker or an Atomic Fireball without taking it out of their mouths. Now kids have super duper sour squirtin turn your taste buds inside out can you handle it punk bitch candy. I like Bit O Honeys the best of all.

I am going to end up having to sell something to buy gas. Dude, are you kidding me with this? We’ll never see it go back down again ever. We all realize this, right? Well, thanks to Scooter over at Psychopigs, we can check Gas Buddy and at least see what the prices are before we leave the house.

Neat things I found today are a Free Martha apron and the Red Rider leg lamp from a Christmas story! Go shop for unnecessary things and be happy.

Me and the boy started the day by eating at one of our favorite home cooking type places. Then, we went to the porn place down the street to pick up a few things. We walk in and run right into our favorite checker guy at the grocery store. He was there by himself and it was totally awkward. I will never use the express lane again. The boy had never been to a porn store which was a total hoot also. We were cracking up about the ridiculous titles of the rentals. Gladiateher Part 9 was one of my favorites. We passed though cause they were out of parts 1-8 and how ever would we catch up?

After that adventure, we went to Lowe’s. I really love that place. I got a weed wacker. That is my new favorite yard toy. I had grass up my nose, in my hair, and in my ears. I always wondered how people got so covered in grass when they did yard work. Things I learned while using the weed wacker:
1. The string will break if you try to cut down bushes with it.
2. The boyfriend will yell at you if you curb check the weed wacker.
3. If a wasp lives in the bush that you try to wack, he will chase you.
4. If there is a piece of dog poo that you didn’t pick up cause you couldn’t see it and then you run over it, it will hit you in the face.

I don’t have it as bad as Crazy Dogmama with her nutball neighbors, but mine are pretty freaking weird too. They have never once said hello to me and we are in Texas. Everyone here says hello, even if they are secretly cursing you under their breath. Second thing is that they have these bushes planted next to their fence on the side by my yard and they never cut the grass around them. It’s like they forget all about them or something. It just looks like shit. I cut half way up the other day hoping that maybe they’d take the hint, but nope. Last thing is that they have this yucky little yip yip dog and my dogs love to go smell it through the fence when it’s out. That’s all they do, just smell it and bark here and there. Well, they will come running outside and carry the damn thing back inside like my dogs are hurting it or something! Fucktards!

Ok, Thanks to Scriptygoddess, I sort of fixed the comments so you guys better start talking!

Please bear with me while I try to make my comments work on my main entry page. I have not stapled my head to the desk yet. I would ask for comments on how to do this, but my comments don’t really work right yet. DOH!

I really have a cast iron stomach when it comes to seeing gross things. I can watch surgeries and trama shows while I eat. However, I watched the video today of the American guy getting decapitated by the Iraqis and I really almost threw up. I got TV screen head. You know where you are about to faint and it’s like you are watching a fuzzy TV show. Anyway, it’s so freaking awful. I can’t believe this is what the war and the world is coming to. On the other hand, these are people that truly believe in an eye for an eye and what our soldiers did to those prisoners is absolutely disgusting. Anyway, if you want to see it, you can see it here. However, be warned that it is extremely graphic and you are viewing it at your own risk. Sidenote: I am not un-American, so no hate mail please. I think the public has a right to see what Bush is putting all of us through.

Go play with My Virtual Model. You can adjust her hair, skin color, waist size, boob size and make her look just like you. I like to put in my goal weight and see how good I’ll look.

I updated my links so if you weren’t there before, you probably are now and if you want to be there and you aren’t let me know.

…on the bottom of my shoe. Ladies, have you ever cut your own grass? I did for the first time today and it really isn’t fun. I had some kooky idea that if a man could do it, I could do it. Well, I decided grass cutting goes under the “things I always want a man to do for me” category. I’ll file it right between kill bugs and pick up dog crap in the backyard. I really value my independence as a woman, but I also believe that the only thing that feminism did for us was to confuse men. Now, we just have to pay half at restaurants. Say what you will, but I will clean the inside of the house, I expect the man to take care of the outside.

Thank you Mimi Smartypants for making me laugh once again. I will order my Banana Guard tonight. I once had another contraption that resembled this one that was also available in glow in the dark. That reminds me kids, May is National Masterbation Month so plan a night alone with someone you love today.

Okay, so I transferred all of my files over from Angelfire to MT and now life is dandy again.

Something is funky in Angelfire land. All of my images that I was hosting there aren’t showing up. I’ll have it fixed really soon. Until then, check out this guy. He’s one of my new favorite bloggers.

That’s what the back of the door said today when I went to give my specimen for a new job that I might be getting. Could there be a more vile thing that a person has to do in this lifetime? First of all, women were not designed to pee in a little, tiny, microscopic cup. I get pee anxiety at home when people I know and love can hear me pee, so imagine my dilema when a stranger is outside the door listening. They won’t even let you run the water, for God’s sake! I think these lab people must like this whole embarrassing process. Imagine that job…. you probably see all different colors…eeewww. Anyway, so I am trying to hold the little cup under where I think the stream is going to be and low and and behold, I piss on my hand!!! That was valuable pee just wasted. So then I manage to get it going again and pee up to the line and then I clean the little jar that I’m about to have to hand to some man and it’s got pee running all down the sides of it. Also, they won’t let you wash your hands until you bring the pee cup back to them. So I bring it out there and I’m standing there like, “ok, please let me go wash my hands. oh please”, and he hands me a pen and makes me sign some crap first! Whatever you do, don’t borrow a pen from that guy!

Thanks to otter, I started investigating the Lomo more and finally bought myself one by way of ebay. It should be here any day now and I am so excited. I’ll post more as this new adventure unfolds.