So, I hear a commercial on the radio that the top plastic surgeon in Austin is going to do an “extreme makeover” for someone that they pick from the applicants. Please call for details. I called. I’m not that jacked up, but probably half those people really aren’t. They set them up to look alot shittier than they really do. So, I figure I’ll send in a really bad pic and maybe I’ll get a tummy tuck and boob lift and collagen lips and teeth whitening for free and be on TV in Austin. Whatever. The receptionist tells me that it’s for “So You Want a Famous Face” on MTV and you need to also send in a picture of a celebrity that you want to look like, so I think “okay, I could probably think of a few.” Then, she tells me that I would be responsible for 50% of the costs??!?!??!!! Are you freaking kidding me? Between a plastic surgeon, who will only get richer from the exposure, and MT-fucking-V they can’t cover the costs? And they end up doing like 25K worth of work to these people, so I’d have to cover 12K? No thanks, I’ll get an underwire bra and some Lip Venom.

Has anyone else tried the new C2 by Coke? It’s fairly good. It’s half the calories and half the carbs of regular coke. I really enjoy sodas and hate diet sodas so this will be good for me.

I will finish making this cuter tomorrow. I am so sleepy now.

…from www.go-quiz.com. Thanks Rachel.

After my Brazialian wax yesterday, I am thinking that having a baby will be no problem once I decide to have kids. That shit hurt like nothing I have ever experienced. This is coming from a girl with three tattoos that once had her tongue, lip and eyebrow pierced. None of that even compares. And the part that I was most worried about hurting, the *ahem* crack zone, was a walk in the park compared to the rest. However, I am trilled with the results, even though my boyfriend says that I look like a chubby 3 year old. He keeps looking at my ponky like it’s poisonous. He normally does not see it on a super regular basis, but since yesterday, I keep dropping my pants to show it off. And my lady only charges $15. Can you believe what a killer deal that is? The things we pay to do as women.

Supposedly, this is a leaked Playboy pic of Britney. Great bod.

In Honor of The MTV Movie Awards, I give you Lindsay’s Lohan’s boobs. More here.

I’m a huge blabberhead tonight. First of all, did anyone see The Real World this week? I know that Bobbie kid that they were maybe going to pick as a roommate. He’s not that much of a cocky prick in person. Weird what TV does to people. Ooooh, you know what looks kind of good too? Road Rules. They have to do some crazy crap this season.

I also decided today that I really like gossip. I’ve always known it, but it sounded so wrong outloud, but I’m almost 30 now, so who really gives a fuck? It’s human nature to like juicy stories about people. Wrong or not, oh well. So, it doesn’t even matter if I know them or not, send all juicy stories to me. I guess the latest universal juicy news is that J-Lo is preggo with Marc Anthony’s kid and they had the secret wedding and all that crap.

Oh yeah, and I’m getting a Brazilian wax tomorrow. Be very afraid for me. I am just not sure how the small talk should go. Freaky Love Friday night should be alot more fun though.

I have taken a part time job that I don’t think I’ve properly explained to you guys yet. I am an Assistant Manager at an apartment complex now. It’s pretty cool. I stay really busy during the day and so it goes by pretty quickly. I am alone alot of the time too which is also good. The most important part is that really interesting stuff goes on at apartments like all of the time.

The thing here lately is we have a snake infestation. This is a huge property and it’s on a wooded piece of land so snakes are part of the territory, but I am oddly fascinated with them, nonetheless. So far, there has been a few rattlesnake sitings, a water mocassin that was perched up on some office stairs, some copperheads that WOULDN’T LET PEOPLE WALK THROUGH THE BREEZEWAY, and most recently a resident that was bitten by a garden snake. Apparently, this is not your standard, run of the mill, easy going garden snake. This little guy is one cantankerous garden snake. He raised up and struck her on her knee while she was on her patio, leaving two little puncture marks and a bruise on her knee. I would have had a freaking heart attack. She was so calm. More stories as the resident adventures unfold.

I am so entirely into my house being cute. I always have been. It has taken me forever, but I finally am getting it to the point that I like the way it is decorated. That crap is expensive, you know? Anyway, so last night my best friend and I put together my new entertainment center, which was entertainment in and of itself. We really are some rocking bitches though for doing that crap. My boyfriend was going to do it for me, but I just couldn’t wait until Sunday. I hate waiting. Putting it together brought us to the conclusion that it would suck ass to have that be your job at Target. Today, you are going to assemble all of the new furniture and not get to keep any of it! I don’t think so. I also got new curtains for my living room. They are okay, but one is sort of gimp. Damn Target. I really should get it for free if I have to make a second trip.

My house is kind of older and so is the air conditioner. It works really well in all of the rooms, except the bedroom. I am such a hotbody and with boyfriend (sometimes) and puppies (always) in the bed, I cannot bear to sleep with it being hot in there. Solution? Trailer park window unit. Now it’s like a meat locker or cheap hotel room in there. I have gotten the most amazing sleep for the past few nights. I woke up today with Mazzy all snuggled up behind me, her head on my pillow and she was snoring. I hate waking her up when she’s like that. My puppies are now too cold for nighttime shanannigans. Life is good.