I got to thinking tonight about the cake topper I bought and how it really isn’t fair that Elvee has to be represented by a white dude.  Then, I thought about how it really is just for laughs, but what about the people that are in interracial relationships and want true to their life toppers.  Well, I am not high enough from my sleeping pills to really enjoy these, but here you go:

• Everyone Loves Everyone Here
• Sheniqua and John Boy
• Previously Featured On Cops
• Irish People Have No Melanin
• Latino Gone With The Wind

Then, to make matters worse, these sites have interracial wedding favors.  Would that be like your theme?  I’m white and he’s black.  You probably didn’t notice.  Here are some little dolls made of gum in our likeness that you can eat and ponder racial togetherness.

I’ll be 29 this Sunday.  My last year in the 20’s.  Goodbye metabolism.  You were fun.

Cause I know you never tire of me talking about myself, I updated the About Me page. 

Tonight I went and registered for more stuff at Target for the wedding.  We have most of what we need to live, so it was all fun stuff.  I’m not inviting too many people, so I’m sure I’ll only get a few things. 

My new glasses are tre’ cute.  Here are pics of the glasses in the case (which is black and fuzzy and has hot pink lining) and me with the old glasses and new glasses on.  

I cannot believe Jessica Sierra got booted tonight.  Her voice is flawless.  I really think it’s because she isn’t a cookie cutter model type.  She is a normal girl.  Cute in her own way for sure.  So sorry this happened to you, girl.  You deserved to at least be in the top three. 

Tonight me and Sam and Little Brian went to eat at the Cheesecake Factory.  Okay, first of all to whoever thought to deep fry balls of macaroni and cheese, contact me so that I can name my first born after you.  You better get that award that people get when they invent really cool shit.  The rest of the food was decent/borderline good.  The pricetag was painful.  We spent 30 a piece.  Sam doesn’t even eat meat.  She had an appetizer, salad, and cheesecake.  Was each thing ten bucks?  Good gracious!  Then we went to Circuit City to get me my ipod shuffle that they are getting me.  It’s tiny.  I don’t get to have it until burfday night but it’s rad none the less.  Smaller than a pack of gum.  I love my pals.

That’s when the big day will occur.  It’s a 2 in numerology.  2 is good for wedding days cause 1 bride + 1 groom = 2 people.  Hokey, yes.  Dawn, totally.  It’s a Saturday and I am really excited.  I know, I should be excited to be marrying my best friend with a penis.  Let me clarify though, one year ago today we were not in a happy happy place.  Boy what a difference a year can make, huh Babe?  We’ve been together eight years and I know him like the back of my hand.  He has a 12 year old son and so I am going to be a step mom.  That’s groovy as well.  We’re going to take him to Disney World and rock out sometime soon.   I’ve got the craziest cheap budget for this wedding  and lots of friends helping to make it awesome so really, what more could I want?  Did I mention the jeans and t-shirts rule?  Oh, that’s my favorite part.  All pressure is off in that aspect.   

(more…)

I am going to have a groom’s cake made and I want this on top.  It’s too funny and pretty true of us in a sick way.  Marry me, no don’t, okay let’s do it, nevermind. 

First off, hope all of you are having a Happy Easter.  The weather here has been really rainy and windy. 

Okay, the secret….I think I’m getting married.  Yeah, I know, but I mean really really soon.  We decided to just go ahead and do it already.  We won’t be engaged.  I’ll just get my ring on our wedding day.  We have been together eight years.  Being engaged for a long period of time on top of that just seems dumb.  There is going to be a very small, extremely casual ceremony at a friend’s house in his backyard.  When I say casual I mean that I will be wearing jeans, flip flops, and a veil and a tiara.  The theme will be Hawaiian more than likely cause I want tropical flowers on my cake.  And so it will be done.  More details as they develop.  This takes so much pressure off of this whole thing though.  The more I prepared for my wedding, the more I realized how little I care about all that hooplah.  I love weddings and have been part of one of the greatest weddings in history, but we have almost been together too long for that.  I don’t want any more debt.  I’d much rather buy a house at the end of this year and then be debt free.  Now, I’ll leave you with pictures of my cake ideas.  These would have to be much smaller of course, but you’ll get the idea. 

I got some jeans yesterday.  I haven’t owned jeans in years.  I got two pairs.  They even look kind of cute on me.  I haven’t really lost any weight but since I’m trying to, I feel less icky if that makes any sense.  One of the pairs of jeans is dark and fitted so I got this shirt from Victoria’s Secret to wear for my birthday. 

I also went to the eye doctor today for the first time in forever and got these cute frames.  I cannot wait until they come in.  They are Bebe and the style is called Nelly.

Elvee,

I am not perfect.  Neither are you.  I do, however, love you with every fiber of my being.  We have had eight really good long years together.  Some points have been very very rocky and some have been very very good.  I wouldn’t trade those moments for anything in the world.  I want to pluck your grey hairs, and fold your socks, and love on these puppies together for a long long time to come.  Let’s just go do this and get married.  No, it won’t solve all of life’s problems, but those things are always going to be there and so will I.  I won’t ever give up on you if you promise me the same. 

Always,

D

(everyone that you can possibly think of reads this and I’m sure they’ll all tell you that we should just do it.)

But as always, the more disturbing the story, the more I like it.  Tonight as Brian and I drove back from Never Never Land to retrieve my keys, we talked about this email that he had received that says that ducks are gay and engaged in necrophilia.  I found it fascinating and could not wait to look it up.  Here is the article I found.  I find the end part with the gay squirrel particularly disturbing. 

Okay, today is up there on the suck-o-meter.  Found out that something that was supposed to be taken care of might be going on the good old credit report after I have done SO MUCH to clean it up.  Then, I lost my keys to my truck and I called Pop A Lock to come help me get into my truck thinking that they would be in there.  The Pop A Lock guy shows up in like two seconds and then takes about another two seconds to get in and they aren’t in the damn truck anyway.  That’ll be $39.95.  Okay, bye.  I then realize that they are at work and my only spare key is in another city.  So, my friend’s brother (thank you, Little Brian-and thanks for the Gayfers) takes me to get my key so that I can get into my truck.  Damn.  If it wasn’t for bad luck….

Here’s a little Shirey Q. Liquor to make me you feel better.  For those of you that have never heard it, they play it on a radio station in Orange Texas in the mornings.  I almost wrecked driving the first time I heard it.  Right click and save, pretty please.

The Price Is Right Lyrics

Spider In the Toilet

Mall Walking

Passing Gas in Church

Every single time I start eating and trying to exercise, I end up getting sick.  I started Weight Watchers last Monday and I got a respiratory thing on Friday after I took the doggies for a walk.  I have felt like shit ever since.  We went today for our weekly weigh in and I did not lose one pound.  I didn’t gain even an ounce either, so that’s a plus.  At least I got used to controlling my portions a little better and making better choices this past week.  This coming week, I’ll work on being stricter with it.  I have a feeling that my metabolism is so screwed up that I may take a little longer to lose.  I guess I just have to keep at it and see what happens. 

I’m planning a big baby shower for a very dear friend (that reads this blog) and it’s coming together really well.  Don’t worry, the shower isn’t a surprise.  Some of the details are though, so you’ll just have to wait for pictures of the grand event. 

Still am LOVING my job.  This is such a change for me.  I usually end up hating every job within weeks.  These people are so great to work with though.  I have so much to do as well.   I’m never bored and I get to make alot of decisions on my own, which is so key to my being happy at a job.  They are even paying for me to get my TX Notary License.  I got sick this weekend and didn’t even think about calling in sick.  How’s that for a change? 

Time for me to bitch about cutting my grass.  I hate that junk.  No fun.  I have a sense of accomplishment afterward, yes, but fun, not at all.  At least I got some Weight Watchers activity points out of it though.  I have had a raging headache this week.  I wake up with it, so forgive me for being so quiet.  I’ll get more interesting next week.  I think.

Me and my best gal pal joined Weight Watchers today.  Sheesh, we really are trouble makers.  We were in trouble before we even got started.  I took off my shoes and everything for the weigh in.  I have five weeks before my birthday and I could be down a size by then according to my calculations.  I will be 29 this year and by God, I will be in shape by 30.  I also found THE house of my dreams today and I was about to see about getting approved and the realtor told me it sold in less than a week.  Gracious!  It is awesome though.  Hardly any carpet and in a cul-de-sac.  Maybe another will come along sometime soon.  That’s all the news I have for today. 

Grendel from Psychopigs has a new site up.  It’s Diary of a Ninja and I’ll be guest authoring (like a rock star ninja) so check it out from time to time.  Hey, no one knows me there.  Maybe you’ll see some pics of my boobs.