I think that something is seriously up with my hormones. I get PMS with like a major edge. Like the edge of a razor blade edge. I get so upset that I’m pretty much in hysteria. This happens about two weeks before my period. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not getting upset about petty shit. I just don’t have normal reactions. Does anyone understand this? I have an appointment set up with an endocrinologist so that I can have a hormone panel done and I guess I’ll go from there. My theory though is that as my estrogen level in my birth control pills decreases and the progesterine increases, I become irrational, hysterical, and honestly borderline suicidal at times. I don’t think I’d ever act on that, but damn I scare myself sometimes. I have actually sat in the bathroom on the floor and banged my head on the cabinet or the floor and just screamed at the top of my lungs. I haven’t gone this manic in a while, but I did have a little fit of hysterical madness last night. I also take alot of medications that I probably shouldn’t be taking in conjunction with one another. I need to quit lying to my doctors about what I actually take and see if I can get a grip on myself. I tell one doctor that I take this and that and another that I take only this so that they will keep prescribing the drugs that I think I need to survive. And at this point, I probably do need them, both mentally and physically. If I run out of one, I have physical withdrawals. That’s when it’s really ugly. If I time that incorrectly with a PMS time frame, then I have set myself up for complete disaster. Quit taking the pill then, you say? Well, I tried that. Not only was I scared to death of making unplanned ankle biters, but I ended up with an ovarian cyst that ruptured and made me feel like dying. I also had the never ending period from hell and really bad acne. So, I guess I’m going to shell out the money to have the tests done and hope my insurance will reimburse at least a (large) percentage. I also pray, and this sounds really twisted, that there is something wrong with me. I mean, if there isn’t something hormonal going on then I am just plain ass crazy. No need to vote on which you think it may be.