So much crisper.

One of my bestest friends from Louisiana has started a web business! It’s called The Preppy Purse and she even does custom diaper bags and baby bedding. She can imitate any designer for half the cost. She’ll even work with you on payments. Monogrammed baby bedding! You know how much I love monogrammed anything! Please go take a look at her stuff and buy something, dammit.

One day a few weeks ago, Sam was having a bad day. To cheer her up, I let her dress me up in Walgreens costumes. I love this picture. I look like a complete tard.

Here is Moo Cow Mazzy after I washed her blankies and just took them out of the dryer. She has two pillows covered with about ten sheets and blankets in there. Can we say ridiculously overly pampered?

This clumsy cajun is really a decent cook. My speciality is sweet potato pie. I swear I could eat twenty of them between now and Christmas. I haved vowed that I will not do so under any circumstances. What’s your favorite Thanksgiving/Christmas treat?

Was really very good. Friday night, we went out to Sixth Street in Austin and all dressed very sexy. The bars we picked were lame, but whatever, we made the fun happen anyway. I was the designated driver so I had like two drinks and then quit drinking way before the bars closed so I could sober up. Yes, two drinks will get me buzzed. I am a pathetic excuse for a drinker. So, then I carted everyone to their respective places and got something to eat and then came home at about 4 am. The next day we were hung over, but Krista and I went to eat lunch at Chee Zee and then we hit a boutique or two and then came back to my place and took a nap. We were awakened by a call from my brother, who I never talk to but we’ll save that drama for another post. Then we got up and called Scott and figured out that none of us were really up for drinking and partying it up on Saturday night. Sucks cause I didn’t wear my good outfit that I got specifically for going out. And we didn’t make it to any strip clubs. Total bummer on that too. Anyway, we stayed at my house and they drank Mexican martinis and we made tacos and we all watched Crash. Great movie, by the way. So, it was totally chill. Scott stayed over and so the next morning, we all went to eat IHOP. Then we went to Mozart’s by the lake to have coffee. After that, we came back here for round two of tacos and Mexican martinis. Us girls had to watch Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy. So, that is my weekend in a nutshell. It was so nice and relaxing and fun. I really miss my Louisiana girl. I love spending time with her. Hopefully, she’ll be back very soon.

My legs and feet in the sexy shoes that would be my demise. So. Not. Comfortable.

My toes now with blisters:

I just went and did Mystic Tan. Remember, this weekend my pal is coming to visit from Louisiana and we are going out on the town. So, Mystic Tan really is kind of scary. It’s really loud and the spray stinks and it’s spraying all in your face and up your nose and you can’t breathe. It’s kind of like a human drive through car wash. I’m not really tan right now, but tomorrow morning I will be like 5 shades darker. Like Diablo Cody (former blogger) once said on the topic, “I’ll go to bed Sandra Huxtable and wake up Rudy.”

On another topic of no interest to anyone but me, I quit taking the pill, remember? And I have been tracking my cycle cause I don’t want to be a baby mama yet and that mofo period of mine is so exactly to the day on time, it’s not even funny. Weird.

Dear Blog Stalker Freak,
I have been trying to guess who you are for a while now on my blog. Everytime I came close, I would find out that I was wrong. You seem to think that I have alot of enemies. You are wrong. I only have about four or five and they have all come to be recently. One is a former friend and the others are previous co-workers that are sincerely crazy and troublesome. You, however, I don’t understand. I’m fairly certain that I do not even know you. I have found out exactly where you work. You spent 6 hours on my blog the other day. Your boss is quite upset. You really should be more careful. I would hate to see you get fired. We’ve developed such a great relationship. It would upset me so if you could not access my blog because you had to sell your computer because you got fired. If you would just tell me why you decided to start with me, I would probably drop this whole thing. Who put you up to stalking me? People don’t usually do these types of things just because it’s fun. Or maybe they do. I don’t think so in your case though. You claim to know too much about me. Whatever the case may be, you really are a sick fuck.

Your pal,
Dawn

Why can I not make myself get up in time for breakfast? I love breakfast from fastfood places or restaurants. 10:30 cut off time is dumb. It should be 11. My favorite are breakfast tacos. I could eat 3 or 4. Ok, maybe not but I would make a grand effort. Damn it, now I have to eat something normal and none of that sounds good.

First day out and I had to have it. I finished eating it at 9:05 and it came out of my body with force at 9:42.

Ok, on my webstats someone from McDonald’s looked at my site. If you read my site again, PUH-LEEZE do not make the McRib go away. That isn’t very nice. I will boycott McDonald’s forever if you really do.

I have to start keeping track of everytime that I break a toe. I do it so freaking often. So today, I turned around too fast and started walking before I realized that the edge of the sofa was in the way. I slammed my second toe (my index toe, I guess) right into the sofa foot (and it’s wooden). I screamed and fell to the floor and now am trying to assess the damage. It fucking better not turn black. Next weekend I am going out and I have the sexiest shoes that I need to wear.

These stupid new Glade scented oil candle things. I usually am a big fan of Glade products, but this one in particular has me a little miffed. The stupid little candle oil disc thingys only last like two hours. I’m being serious. Two freaking hours and the damn things costs $6.99. Their regular little candles are only $2.79 and they last for days and days buring hours at a time. Discuss amongst yourselves.

It only happens a few times a year. I get very very excited when it does. THE MCRIB IS BACK, PEOPLE. I know, contain yourselves for just a moment. It doesn’t officially come back until Monday, but aren’t you excited? Oh, the rib shaped gray meat with BBQ sauce goodness that is the McRib. Culinary excellence.

I simply love this game of cat and mouse that we are playing. Do something bold, I dare you. Tell me more about myself. Leave another comment. You are just grand entertainment for me.