I feel like my life has been a series of bad decisions. I can’t find happiness no matter what. Its like bad follows me. Yeah, I know. Life is what you make it and all that, but seriously. I am a good person. I treat other people very well and I get nothing positive in return. This past week has been especially tough.
1. Mazzy got sick and had to have a first surgery on Thursday.
2. Friday I found out something that I find to be devastating news. I won’t elaborate but it really sucks.
3. Mazzy had her second surgery Friday night.
4. Mazzy died Saturday.
5. I was supposed to start a new job Monday afternoon. One that my placement agency sent me to. The job was supposed to be long term. I left the awesome job that I had because the contract ended next week and this other job would be long term. I did all of this under the advice of my placement lady. I show up to the job and its only for two days. Then the place that I was at before didn’t want me back because HELLO, I left them high and dry. So now I am jobless.
6. Yesterday my Mom and I get into the biggest fight we’ve ever had. She said some really nasty things to me. She is my rock. The ONE person that I count on. I feel like yesterday may have changed our relationship forever. What do I do now?

I need something good to happen to me. Not just some thing but a series of things. Life is not supposed to be like this. I just want to be happy. Genuinely happy and not have it be such a fucking struggle ALL THE DAMN TIME. I really think that I was not meant for this world.