Heather Lorraine

Heather and I met because her Mom and my Mom were friends. We met when I was in the 2nd grade and she was in the 1st. This girl is absolutely the closest thing that I have to a sister. I don’t even have to think twice about asking her for anything and the same goes for me with her. We have been through pretty much every life moment together. I remember her showing me how to use a tampon. She started before me. (Sorry, Heather.) We used to spend so much time together it wasn’t even funny. If we weren’t together, then we were on the phone. I was totally an ass to her alot of the time when we were little too. I apparently used to tell her really mean stuff. God, kids can be awful. She remembers most of even though I wish she didn’t. But as we got older, we definitely had a bond. My Dad had cancer when I was in the 6th grade and I basically lived with her family. She actually looks more like my Mom than I probably do. People used to always mistake us for sisters. Heather and I lived together as roommates in college as well. We used to sit on our patio and just crack up laughing about the good old days. Mind you, we were 19. The good old days really weren’t that old. Her daughter is my Godchild. Oh, how I love that baby Hannah (this baby is now almost 10)! Heather is the best mother of anyone I know. She has wanted nothing more than to be a mommy since we were kids. I swear that is her calling in life. She can cook, she can sew. She really can do it all. If you need to know a quick tip on how to do something, ask her. She just handy like that.

Mary Christina Love

I met her on the first day of Kindergarden and I fell in love with her that day. She is the most beautiful tomboy you will ever meet. She always kept one token babydoll so that she would fit in with the girls. My babydoll had a full wardrobe, a first and middle name, and diapers. Christina’s babydoll had one outfit, inkpen on her face, and her name was Baby.
She was always the pretty one and boys loved her. She would get the most olive tan just by standing by the window. She has the longest legs ever and very smooth skin. She taught me how to shave my legs.
She has one of the best families you will ever come across. They adore each other and love to spend time together. She used to come spend the night at my house and would want to go home in the middle of the night because she missed her baby brother.
Christina has the purest, sweetest heart and is smarter than almost anyone I know in real life. She has been through so much in her life and still manages to keep it together.
She loves kitties and they love her. Her house has always been filled with them and somehow they all know to find her house if they need a home.
When I think of her, I think of pancakes, cup o soup, macaroni and cheese, coca-cola, Garbage Pail Kids, Nintendo, Saturday Night Live, Headbanger’s Ball, Slug Bug, Pee Wee Herman, The Cure, Anais Anais perfume, and being girls.

Tracy Samantha

I have known Sam since my Sophomore year in college. We have been fat and skinny together and our absolute favorite thing to do together is eat somewhere new. We talk on the phone a few times a day and don’t really talk about anything in particular. We laugh alot. We both have tragic luck. If it’s going to happen, you can bet it’ll happen to one of us. We both have crazy mothers but are very close to them. We went through an alcoholic phase together in college and drank just about everyday. “How did we get home last night, girl? I think I drove.” She is a vegetarian and I am a total carnivore. We always joke that we are the yin and yang of the food chain. She used to be a teacher that didn’t really like kids. Thank God for that career change. She still is kind of innocent though and I think that sometimes I am a shock to her system. I can tell her anything though with no judgement. She is color blind, which is so hilarious. She isn’t color blind in the traditional way either. She can see color, just not shades of color. She first found this out in design class in college and she failed the color wheel. Her Mom says that she noticed that Sam’s colorsheets were always a little different from the other kids’. She is also Bipolor. Seriously. The doctor says so. She takes medicine now, but she used to call me at like 2am and would want me to come over and help her rearrange her bedroom furniture. She is one of the most special friends I have.

Alissa Ann

I met Lissa back when I was an apartment complex leasing consultant. She had rented her first apartment there with her soon to be fiancé, Hunter. Another girl had been helping her, but she dropped the ball and so I got to help Lissa. She had just met this wonderful guy and had her first real job as a Technical Writer for a government contract with the Navy. Once I found out how much money she would be making, I asked her to pass my resume along to her boss and she did and I was soon working there also. In fact, we shared an office together. We shared so many fun times as office mates. We decorated for Christmas, dressed up for Halloween, played all of our favorite CD’s and even had air conditioner wars with the rest of the building. There was a corner store right next to our office so we would frequently walk there and get sodas and candy. One day, Lissa bought these “energy m&m’s”. We got back to the office and she ate quite a few of them and started acting like a fool. I asked her how they tasted and her response was “oh, like the bottom of a sailboat. You know!” Um no, my caffeine induced mentally insane friend. Lissa is an absolute culinary goddess. She, in fact, inspired me to start cooking. I always knew how but was afraid to experiment for fear of messing something up. Lissa gave me the confidence to start just doing it and now it’s one of my favorite things to do. Lissa loves to entertain people. She’s like a sexy Martha Stewart without stock options. The biggest party that she has hosted so far was her incredible wedding two years ago that I had the honor of being her Maid of Honor in. It was such a beautiful and spectacular event. Words cannot even describe it. Things about Lissa that make her special are: 1. She is strikingly beautiful like Sophia Loren was back in the day, a classic beauty. 2. She has this strange fear of ET and penguins, not them together, but separately. Maybe someday she’ll be able to stick her head far enough out of the covers to tell us all why. 3. She is from Indiana, but you’d swear she’s from the South. She is a UT grad and has extreme pride in her Longhorns. 4. She says “Jesus tits!” 5. Her family is great. I have even taken to her little brother. We get along perfectly and go do things together that might assault Lissa’s eyes or ears (she is morally sensitive). 6. She can drive a boat better than any man. 7. She is 5″10″ and still wears huge shoes. 8. She loves doggies. If I had to pick something that would represent Lissa most perfectly, it would be a monogrammed tangerine colored gingham blanket - classic, fun and fabulous.

Leslie Ann

Leslie and I met through a friend. I was dating this kid and he was friends with her boyfriend. I would always hear about her but I never met her. All I knew is that she drove a convertible and that made her sound so classy and grown up. Well, I finally met Leslie and we were pretty okay friends. We didn’t see each other a whole lot but when we did, we would have alot of fun. I remember one night, her and some of the guys showed up at my apartment with lawn figurines (you know, Virgin Mary, a donkey, etc.) and want to bring them into my apartment. They had managed to steal a cement pig mama that weighed about 500 pounds and her 3 100 pound babies for me. Anyway, I ended up moving and I needed a roommate. I found out that Leslie did as well and we moved in together and became the best of pals. Once I got to really know her, I figured out that she is nothing short of amazing. First of all, she had a rough upbringing but she has always been a good kid. She made it out of that shit and created a life for herself (and her daughter) that is just phenomenal. This girl knows what she wants and goes and gets it. Trust me, she does very well for herself now. Oh, and did I mention that she is drop dead gorgeous? She is. She looks like Shania Twain/Sandra Bullock. I can look at Leslie and start laughing. That’s how freaking hilarious she is. We used to pull up at the red light and she would blow the horn to get the person next to us to look and then she would wave in the opposite direction to make that person feel dumb. She’s also a bad driver. She gets lost everytime she comes to visit me in Texas and she’s from here. She came to see me one time and she got lost and drove an hour out of her way. When she got to my house, I showed her that her rental car had OnStar and she had been lost for nothing. The best part is she had pushed the little button and talked to the OnStar lady already to tell her some jokes (but not to get directions)! She loves psychics and astrology and we talk about all that for hours. She is the only one that truly understands my connection to those things. She is independent and does not take a man’s shit. I love that about her. She recently decided that her new first name would be Yoni. And she’s serious.

Krista Kathleen

My single, Sex In the City, party balls to the wall pal. I’ve been friends with Krista since the 2nd grade. She is such a little spit fire. We took dance lessons together for years as kids and would practice in her living room for hours. She has an older sister that loved to do our hair and make up (think 80’s glam bands). We followed glam metal for years together and her mom would take me and her and her older sister to the concerts. We would get totally dolled up and wear our “slut clothes” that we got at Rave or 5*7*9. Our first concert together was Poison. I had to hide my clothes from my mom and I would put them in the top of my closet in my My Little Pony barn. Krista and I spent all of our holidays and weekends together. I would sleep at her house and then we’d trade and go to my house. One night at one and then one night at the other for pretty much the whole summer. Krista had the coolest stuff at her house too. She had a pool, trampoline, play house and lots of animals. We are still the best of pals and when we see each other, it’s like we never lost touch. She lives in New Orleans in the city and is a total commitment phobe. She will break up with someone because she doesn’t like their shoes.

Nicole

Nicole Classic. Not to be confused with Nicole that I broke up with last year.

I met Nicole while working at a small retail store in a small town I used to live in. That was about 11 years ago. Wow, time really flies, doesn’t it?

Nicole is the jazziest bitch I know. Probably the closest to my personality that I have ever found. She is balls to the wall, take no shit, tell it like it is. I LOVE this girl. We can talk for hours and hours and never run out of things to say. She has tons of little “crazy shit” things just like me. She won’t put her purse on the floor. She hates germs. She has a quick tongue. We click on so many levels. I have never met anyone that could look at my relationship with Elvee and truly understand it. I can tell her anything. I hold nothing back and she doesn’t even bat an eyelash. We talk openly about sex and relationships and everything in between. She makes me laugh so hard that I can’t even get it together after. I have to repeat half of what she tells me because someone else has to hear how funny this chick is. I have never met anyone that didn’t like her. She makes friends with the beautiful people all the way down to the creepy guy in the bar that no one will talk to. And the funny thing is that she will find something about him that she can relate to. She just had a baby girl about 7 months ago and so we are going to be new moms together. I can’t think of anyone that I’d rather share this with.

She is strong, independent, self confident, witty, super smart, and gorgeous. If you were to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would tell you Nicole. She is so fabulous that I can hardly stand it.